For most of us, relationships are the most important aspect of our lives. Elizabeth Gilbert in her book Eat, Pray, Love tells about a psychologist friend who was asked to counsel Cambodian refugees. When she talked to them, she discovered that relationship was one area that people wanted to talk about most.
One sign of an unhealthy relationship is codependency. It is when the approval of the other person becomes so life-engulfing that your self-worth and identity depend on it. It is a form of unhealthy clinginess in which the person does not have the self-sufficiency to go on with life without their partner.
Here are 5 signs that should alarm you:
You Can’t Live Without the Other Person (And Not In A Romantic Way)
When the other partner is not around, you feel incomplete and in a really unhealthy way. It’s as if your being depends on the other person.
This unhealthy attachment not only hinders the growth of your relationship, it also mars your personal development.
You Worry that Your Partner Might Leave You
Insecurity about the relationship is one of the core parts of a codependent relationship. You believe that if you do not meet the demands of your partner, he/she might leave you. This makes you try even harder and reinforce your partner’s unreasonable demands.
There Is A Fixed Way that You Need to Behave
The partner in a codependent relationship expects you to behave in a certain way. Any digressions from that do not go down well with him/her.
Your happiness is tied to how they want you to feel and act. This is conditional love, which prevents you from being who you really are.
You Are Always the Caregiver
When talking about a healthy romantic relationship, there shouldn’t be any mothering or care giving role. In a co-dependent relationship, you play the nurturing role, acting on every whim that your partner has.
The other person is a grownup adult and should not assume the role of a child. If that’s happening, you might need to do something about it.
You Have No Freedom
In a codependent relationship, there are rules and restrictions on you. You do not make your own choices. Before making any decisions, you consider what your partner might think about it, instead of what you want. This lack of freedom can hamper your mental wellbeing.
Understanding relationships through and through, Rekha Shrivastava employs hypnosis to help couples deal with all kinds of issues. Over the years, her hypnosis services have allowed couples in Rochester, New York to maintain healthy relationships. She also offers Skype sessions for clients outside of New York. Contact Blossom Hypnosis to learn more.