Dealing with Distrust: How it’s Destroying Your Marriage

Distrust can creep up in any relationship, leading to an abundance of insecurity, jealousy, anxiousness, and emotional abuse. It can severely affect your marriage, creating tension between you and your spouse.

Here’s the thing about distrust though: it doesn’t just appear overnight. Feelings of distrust develop over the course of time, tugging at the foundation of your relationship bit by bit and altering your behavior in the process. The cycle of distrust includes the following stages:

Doubt: This is that initial feeling of hesitation you have about your spouse’s actions and behaviors. You know that feeling when you have a nagging uncertainty that you just can’t seem to shake off? Something about what your partner has said or done just seems a little off. That’s doubt lurking at the back of your mind.

Suspicion: There’s a thin line between doubt and suspicion. If left unresolved, doubt gradually evolves into suspicion, where you’re skeptical about your partner’s behavior but don’t have the proof to reach a firm conclusion.

Anxiety: Feelings of suspicious then lead to anxiety. Your unease and apprehension toward your partner’s behavior may manifest as physical symptoms of anxiety. For instance, you may start feeling nervous around your partner or have a sinking feeling in your stomach every time you talk or think about the subject of suspicion.

Fear: As the cycle of distrust progresses, you may develop a deep-seated fear of vulnerability. You’re likely to be afraid of discussing certain topics with your spouse out of fear of what you may find out. Distrust can also make you afraid of emotional vulnerability and you’re likely to avoid being vulnerable in your relationship.

Self-protection: This fear can trigger a self-protection mechanism within you. While you try to avoid emotional vulnerability for self-preservation, you also add to the mountain of distrustful feelings between you and your spouse.

So, how do you prevent these feelings of distrust from escalating?

Identify the Root Causes

What’s causing your feelings of instruct in the first place? Are your feelings based on past experiences? Does your marriage lack the communication it needs? Have there been instances of dishonesty in your present relationship? Before you can tackle distrust, you need to know where it’s stemming from.

Address the Situation Immediately  

Don’t wait for things to get worse. Raise your concern with your spouse when you first start experiencing that feeling of nagging doubt. The earlier you converse with your spouse, the more likely you are to resolve the issue before it grows into something bigger.

Get Professional Help

If you have trust issues, there’s no shame in reaching out for professional help! Previous trauma or feelings of distrust can threaten your marriage and crate massive trust issues. A cognitive behavior therapist and relationship counselor can help you address these issues and overcome them.

Rekha Shrivastava at Blossom Hypnosis helps individuals identify and express their feelings using subconscious mind therapy and hypnosis. She’s also available via Skype sessions to clients not residing in Rochester, NY.

Get in touch with her now!

Sources:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5380380/

https://oureverydaylife.com/marriage-problems-after-25-years-22265.html

https://leadingwithtrust.com/2014/05/18/5-stages-of-distrust-and-how-it-destroys-your-relationships/

https://www.apa.org/monitor/2013/12/distrust

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